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Ohhh, it's not "Knight Rider" is it? The opening bars of "Think" have me waiting for the 'Hoff to appear with his talking car. Help, I'm having an '80s flashback, even more than ever before. Or is there something wrong with my CD player? Nope, everything seems fine, was working OK before. The tune keeps speeding up and then slowing down, and emits various unidentifiable creaks and crashing noises. I feel like I'm in a banged-up '80s Ford Fiesta traveling down the congested M25, getting ready for a breakdown. I'm looking for an emergency stop point... oops, here it is – 'Skip Track'.
Except now 'Retribution' brings more bleepy noises of an indigestible nature. And some shouty vocals cut through. If I were a seventeen year old newbie Goth, still practicing my eyeliner, perfecting my scowl, I might be stupid enough to dance to buy/download the record. Unfortunately I'm not – I'm nearly thirty and I just can't take it anymore. Yet, I shall keep calm and carry on, as they say. Gritting my teeth, I prepare for the utter bobbins that is "Lethagy". And it really does invoke it. Not to mention the IBS (irritable boredom syndrome). Onwards! So now I'm skipping through the rest of the tracks to see if anything appeals... no, no and no again. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to listen to this stuff out of choice – unless you're shooting up to it of course. But, nothing can be entirely useless, can it? It could perhaps be used in a film soundtrack, or maybe even for a TV series based on the lives of teenage reprobates. Or even in a public health and safety video. But it's a horrible way to start the weekend. Especially listening to "Terror Storm" – it's a war going on between the keyboardist and the drummer, before they eventually smash the bejesus out of each other. Pants pant pants! This CD is like listening to the vacuum cleaner all morning. |