Then we have some sci-fi sound effects and Jedi warfare in the next one, and it's all 'violence and death and sexual hate'. Gawd, what parallel world is this one? Don't tell me it's that place with the nice orange sign where they ask you to come in and talk to the nice woman behind the desk once every two weeks, is it? Well, it may well be but if so I wouldn't advise listening to this bunch to get you out of the hole.

And I'm waiting to listen to something that may suggest 'parallel worlds' may be resplendent with fairies, stardust, dreams of loved ones departed passing on timely advice or well-wishes... but no. My ears hurt (again).

It is pretty hard-core – and I reckon they've probably got enough of a fan base not to have to worry about what some journo has to say about them. But this is never going to get my vote, I'm really sorry.

You can't go on about 'parallel worlds' on your CD sleeve notes with apparent conviction, and then produce an album sent straight from Satan's Arse. That's just rubbish. And I'm not a god-botherer, either, I'm a yoga teacher. And if there's a parallel world – this must be the place where all those dirty socks go that never emerge from the other side of the wash. The Bermuda Sock Triangle, or something.